LEARNING TO SPEAK BAWLAMARESE

Sister Lindsay and I were unaware when we accepted our mission call to the Maryland Baltimore Mission that we were being assigned to a foreign-speaking mission. Senior missionaries who are serving in foreign-speaking assignments spend two weeks at the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah to help them become familiar with the new language and culture. Since we were only at the MTC for five days, the Missionary Department apparently didn't realize when we were there last September that Bawlarmarese is a language spoken here that only somewhat resembles English.

Welcome to what some folks call Charm City . . . Balamer, Murlan

It is absolutely essential to know how to pronounce the location where we are serving our mission, which is Balamer, Murlan. You might be interested to know that our mission also includes the city of Napolis (Annapolis), the seat of the Murlan gubmint (government) where the gubner (governor) lives and works.

Although we traditionally refer to other adult members in the Church as Brother and Sister, for the local latter-day saints that can be a bit awkward since the universal title for everyone in this town, regardless of gender or age, is Hon. The word Hon is interchangeable with any name, and people that you have never previously met will immediately call you Hon. The word is also frequently used at the end of a conversation such as . . . "We'll see you again next week, Hon."

Balamer's unusual dialect shares at least some characteristics with neighboring Philadelphia. Since my mother was a 6th generation Philadelphian, listening to people speak in this area sometimes reminds me of my youth when our family would visit relatives in Mom's hometown. The native residents in the metropolitan area will readily tell you that they don't have an accent, but they feel everyone else does!

Sister Lindsay and I were surprised to discover just how much warter (water) there is in and around the city. Warter obviously played a significant role in this area during the War of 1812 after the British burned Warshinn (Washington), our nation's capitol, which is just 40 miles south of  Balamer. It was here that Francis Scott Key wrote the words that became De Stor Spangelt Banner Antem (the Star Spangled Banner Anthem) as he watched the British bombard Fort Mikenry (McHenry) in the harbor.

Within the Chesapeake Ward boundaries, there are many different communities such as Aoberlee (Overlea), Dundock (Dundalk), and Spaars Point (Sparrows Point) where the huge Bethlum (Bethlehem) Steel industrial complex is still operating. From a religious perspective, many different faiths are represented, but a significant number of Calf Licks (Catholic) call Balamer home. Unfortunately, there is considerable crime in the area, and we have to admit that we have never before seen so many uniformed pleece (police).

We admittedly don't always know zackly (exactly) what people are saying, but we are learning as we go. You could travel all over the erf (earth) and not find another place quite like Balamer.